Stress, Stress, STRESS!!!

ARGH!!!

STRESS!!!

I hate that word. Its a word that never goes with me, but now my life is FULL of it!

Haix...Ok, calm down. Take a chill pill. Haix...

I'm in school now, downloading a windows update that will help fix my laptop so that I can install Photoshop CS3 and make my musical logo so that Saras can send it in by tonight 10pm, or else we are stuck with the other shitty logo. Whew!

I've been downloading nothing but Photoshop files all week and none of them work. SO I'm guessing that the problem is with my laptop so I just reformatted and now im hoping it will work. Zzz. If it doesn't, I have a major problem on my hands.

I hate it when I promise to do something, but I never deliver. But the problem is that most of the time, I'm rushing JUST to deliver; I got too much shit on my hands! Zzz.

On top of that, I also need to design the poster for the musical too.

Not to mention my school shit too.

Why oh why do I have so much work to do???

God pls help me!

Hey All!

im back again from India...And Im glad yet sad to be back..

Sad because first of all...my parents are there.

It was reli to have to say goodbye to them at the airport...My parents were both crying and it reli hurt me...but i told myself i wont cry in front of them...

It was only when me and mi bro were inside the departure hall did we we start to cry...Haix...

But i made a promise to my mom to take care of mi bro and to study well...And that is one promise i aint gonna break..


But from the moment i landed, its been nothing but projects and sleeping late at night. Im glad i did my a bit of the work. I was so happy to be relieved off my work on fri. After that I met Shanty and hung around SB before going over to the MRT station to pick up the most awesome twins I know...Isabelle and Isaac! We hung around sch til 3.30. Then Suadz came wit her frens...And she didnt know tt isabelle and the rest were at FC5...The moment she saw Isabelle, she went wild! LOL

After that we saw Anaz dancing for ICS...

Bro...Im gonna do smth I tot I'd never do...I take it all back...Sorry man...Tat was some seriously good dancing...but me n the peeps still think that smth was up wit that expression....LOL

I know im not making sense here to the common folk....but its a secret we have amongst all our friends.

LOL...after the performance, me, iz, shan, and isabelle went all the way to Suntec where we played the most stupidest yet the most fun games ever!! Those guys at the Toys'r'us are neva gonna want us back there again...LOL!!!

Suadz dropped by later wit Saras and Prasad...Suadz accompanied me back to Yishun and along the way the scores became 2-0...lol...

Haix...After that, she went back to meet the guys and i went back home...

well that was for friday....


Saturday's musical was very chillaxed for me...there was nth much to do for me...But i got to see Deepa again and that was great!! I reli missed all these guys!!! haha...

Well, im blanking out here....zzzz....lol...i better go nfind smth else to do before i fall asleep...lol



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Now playing: Fly On The Wall - Miley Cyrus
via FoxyTunes

No place like Home...

Haix... Feeling sad. Not becos I had another fight with mi parents or watever...but becos i just feel homesick...

Dont get me wrong...Im not overseas or anything, but moving out of a place you've lived in your wholelife makes you long for home.

It was weird. I'd always felt that mi house was like a jail where I was always cooped up with nothing to do except rot. It was always a place of anguish and pain...but when you realize that you may never step foot into the place you grew up in...you see the better side of your house.

I woke up on sat...on mi bed. Probably the last time i would wake up in my home. I looked around at the walls...walls which sheltered me all this years. I remembered the fun we had painting those walls, decorating them with stickers and posters...placing glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. All the stupid games me and mi brother used to play in there...All the late night PS2ing wit mi bro n cuzins...The very intimate moments I had with a special someone...

I got off mi bed, touching the walls lightly...Their normally cold touch was replaced today with a warmth...I walked out my room...into a living room washed with bright golden sunlight...It was beautiful...I walked through the kitchen and into the bathroom...I got dressed and walked around the house, just reminiscing about everything that had happened in this house as far back as i can remember.

Everyone of mi birthdays was celebrated in this house...
Every scolding i got from mi parents...
All the crazy games me and mi bro used to play, pretending we were on fantastic journeys through imaginary lands.
All the crazy times we had when mi cuzins or friends came over...
The fights I had with my family...
Relaxing in a quiet corner on a rainy afternoon with a book...
Slacking around and surfing the net...
Friday nights wit KFC and a good movie...
Mi pet fish and rabbit...
The crazy dance floors we had when our relatives came over for deepavali.

Thoughts kept running through mi mind as we waited for the tenants.

All mi teenage life, I'd viewed these 4 walls and a roof to be a prison...It wasnt...It never has been

It was a place to escape the prison. A place to relax and recover...to have fun... to enjoy the company of your family. Those front doors were always open for me...whether it was to go out into the world....or back home into comfort. This was place where i grew up...where i learnt to be who i am today.

Memories may fade in my mind...but these walls will always remember...

I finally realized as i picked up mi bags, put on mi shoes and walked out the door...


There is no place like home

Costumes Costumes!

Yaow-Za!

Sup guys. Tryin to get into this blogging thing so im back wit another post. lol

today was a nice day. I got abit more interactive wit my class again...on Bern's orders (thanks berns) I had a good time wit the guys today. Played poker wit alec they all..

AND I WON 3 DOLLARS!!!

I know its not much la but for a first timer not bad wat!!! LOL

Then skipped eof...again to go costume store at bugis to rent out costumes for sat's events. Mr Dioni took us there in his nice cosy SUV so it was damn chillax. We were passing by the IR and from there we can see the entire skyline and it was beautiful...Not that i havent seen it b4 but smth abt it was cool. I remebered Disturbia by Rihanna when i saw that. Reminds me of the nighlife, Clarke Quay and nightclubs...lol. teenga fantasies sorry.

Anyways, we had a blast in the costume store...tried on like alot of stuff so tt was cool. Funny really.

IM A GORRILA PIMP! LOL! Why am i always a pimp...zzzz!

Lol. Nvm. We got the costumes then came back to sch for law test...borin...scraped past i think. Then me n fir went to mrt to meet sheena...those two pangsei me and left...LOL. But nvm...came back home told mom and dad abt am proj and how it wld intefere wit my india trip. They didnt take it to lightly.

now dad is making some calls so we'll see...Just chillin in front of my dear lappie, listening to disturbia..LOL...crazy over this song.

nvm...ill see ya guys around though! Peace!

My Return...My Rise

Im back after a long hiatus!

I tot i'd start bloggin again, seeing as how everyone is doing it too. LOL

Let me see...

Well, the musical has been going well. We are bonding very well...as a family. I love those guys; meeting them keeps my mind off things. I actually feel rejuvenated around those guys. But the problem is that Mom and Dad keep yelling at me for coming home late...but they dont understand how important this is to me.

haiz...the only thing that i feel saddend abt is that they wont be around in Singapore to see me acting...I'm dreading the day I have to say goodbye to them. I know I should spend alot oftime with them...so thats why im trying hard to stay around them for as long as i can.

Haiz...nvm...on to more merrier matters

I made a pact with berns to set up my events management comp. study to push my gpa to 3.2. to start dating.

I got other things on mi mind too.

I want at least 1 dj/mc gig a week. earn at least $200 a month so i can support myself and prove to mi parents that I am responsible.

I want to go go back to SDZ and learn dance. I want to be the best dancer in SP...I want to earn street cred and go to clubs and challenge ppl to battles. LOL. Ambitious I know!

I got so much shit on mi mind, all of them in action. Lets see where mi dreams lead me. I know i sound egoisitic...but sometimes you gotta dream big rite?

Film and Musicals....My dream!

Ok!

Let me continue from yesterday...I was kinda shagged yest, and the post was alrdy to long so i tot i'd keep some of the other parts for today.!!

Ok!

So wat else has been up with my life. 

First of all, I have a year end Musical with Deepa, Chitt, Shan they all...Its gonna be so much fun!!! Its a reli big production, and it would be mi foot in the door WHEN it is successful!!!

I love these guys. They are WAYYYYYY more different than mi classmates. This are people I really click with!!! Like I can totally be myself and be completely insulting and dont have to worry about anything... With my class, I tried that last year; it went bad btw me n felicia. SO I realized you cant be the same around people.

When Im with mu class, I'm super careful not to say the wrong thing...I dun noe why? It's really horrible to be yourself, but when i do let loose in class, I do have alot  fun!!! 

Maybe I should be more FUN AND LESS INSULTING TO MY CLASSMATES.

Anyways....RANTING!!!!

Like I was saying, with Deepa they all, I can be super insulting and they all laugh...in fact, they insult me more than I insult them and I have fun while im doin it. 

In mi class, the only thing they insult me about is my color... And I think sometimes, they take it a bit too far...

With my own race, color cant reli be an issue...LOL

Haix!

Oh!

And then there is this film competition organized by NUS that we are taking part in. We are producing two shorts and I have some ideas...I reli want to use some techniques I have seen in HFTV in these shorts... Like the style of storytelling in 'memento'...

I reli hope we win and get recognition...This is also another foot in the door for me.

Clubbin`!

Ok. I know it's been a month...But you can forgive me rite?

Alot of things have been happening. I'll start from the start of the holidays. 

I WENT CLUBBING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!! ON THE 3RD OF JUNE...NOTE THE DAY!!!

 Ok. It wasn't all I had imagined it to be. Let me tell you what happened. I was hanging wit Jeevi the day before and he told me that there was a underage party at St James Powerhouse and he asked me to go. But you know how parents are like rite? So I told him cant..But in the end he persuaded me to try and ask mi mom, so i did. I told her I had an overnight camp and that i'd be back the next day. 

SHE BOUGHT IT!!!  I was so happy!!!

okok

So i got ready for the nite. White tee,with black long sleeve on top and jeans. And of course mi lovely cap. I looked great!!!

He came late, so JV cancelled his plan of going to OBA...where he said there were hot chicks (indian). Zzzzzzz...

But nvm. We got to harborfront, but we were wondering wat to do. We obviously wanted to get a little high, but there were no alcoholic drinks at a underage party, so we bought 2 cans of Amsterdam beer and went to the Skypark at Vivo and drank. I drank half a can... and it was awesome!!! I was so fucking crazy. Me and Sly were like hugging each other every few minutes...HAHA!!! Only JV was normal.... heavy drinker!

We got to the club and we waited for the guy to come with his tickets. We got in...and the bass blew me away. It was dark, loud, and funky. We got our free drinks first. After a while, the music got to us and we went onto the dance floor.

I can tell you now that me and jeevi were the only indians in that club... and everyone else noticed. 

RACIST FUCKS! WE WERE ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE DANCE FLOOR LOOKING FOR AN OPENING WHEN THE DJ STARTED PLAYING 'MOVE BITCH!'

SUDDENLY, I FELT SOME GUY RAM ME FROM BEHIND LIKE 5 TIMES. I TURN, AND THERE IS THIS AH BENG FUCK SCREAMING IN MY FACE "MOVE BITCH GET OUT OF THE WAY" I WAS FUCKIN THROWN OFF.

Haix... immature bastard. I was about to kik this guy's ass when I suddenly saw this group of niggers get onto the table and start dancing. 

LOL! It took the bouncer about a few minutes to get them down. We followed them to the dance floor where hey easily dominated a small dance floor of their own. 

They were awesome. The guys were good dancers. Suddenly one of the guys finished his move  AND POINTED TO ME. I WAS LIKE 'FUCK! ITS MI TURN' 

So me being the crazy psycho fucker i am went out and started dancing. I pulled out all my tricks, c-walk, shuffle, lean back. Everything. It was awesome.

I ACN TELL YOU THEY BEAT US...NO SWEAT...BUT WATCHING THEM, WAS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF THAT NITE. I LEARNT SO MUCH!

And another thing, no one else in tat club was daring enuff to dance with those guys. You wanna noe why? 'lose face' Fuck tt man! I dun care if I make a fool of myself. I went wild, i got owned, i came away with the greatest battle of my life so far. 

Ok! It wasnt a battle, it was pretty much a walk in the park for them...but nonetheless, it was great for us.

After the whole thing, we walked a click down to a closed food stall and slacked there up to 6. 

Then we flagged down this cab. it was a Volkswagon minibus and when i saw it, i tot it was going to be a slow ride home. But the moment i clicked my seat belt in, the crazy driver took off. We hit 120 km/h in less than 20 secs. LOL!

Then we hit a series of S-curves, AND HE DRIFTED AROUND THEM!!! PRACTICALLY DRIFTED AROUND!!! WE COULD HEAR THE SCREECHING TIRES AND THE TURBO SPOOLING UP!!! 

 I tell you man...That was truly the first time time I've been in a race car...and it wont be the last. Cam back home. Chilled out. Then left for JV's house before going to school for open house. 

There might have been some bad memories that nite...But it was still a great nite. Wont forget it...

END OF THE YEAR...OBA!!! ANYONE??

This is right...

Sup! Back again after so long. 

I think its been a week! KA-POW!!!!

Let me tell you what's been up! Me and Nit had  fight and we solved it. KA-POW!

It was a fight and I cant rememebr why we fought again...HAHA!! Anywayz, she havin probs wit her guy. 

Let me ask you wonderful, pretty, beautiful girls out there... ; -) If your guy...tells you he feels insecure with you...and he loves you as much as you love him (If you dont then skip to paragraph 6)...and he says that to feel secure...he...has...to...  ....be....ph...y...si...c...a.......l....with you....would...y...o...u.. accept...?...

No seriously...would you??? OK! Let me tell you something else. You absolutely HATE gettin physical...does that change your views now. You love him, but you don't want to get physical. Thats the prob Nit's in. Haix! And a few days back, she had a fight with him gain over this...she told me she came close to breaking up and of it wasn't for him sayin sorry, she would have. Haix...

Here's the thing Nit...I cant influenece your decision. I cant say anything...no matter how much I want to. Cos I noe you have to make that decision yourself...You have to learn how to make decisions yourslef. I'm not sayin u cant...u make small ones...

But you always ask someone for their opinion on a big one...why? Think for urself pls...Cos others might tell u something that will benefit them...Most others. When I gave you advice, I'd say I have no opinions, but u keep askin me. So when I DO tell you, it is actually an opinion that makes YOU happy...but that defeats the purpose of an opinion doesnt it. 

Thing is, nowadays, I'm distancing myself from you. Purposely and subconsciously, and I think it has something to do wit jealousy. Im jealous I dont have someone to lean one like I once did. Jealous that there is another part of your life that I cant be involved in...that it doesnt include me. And here's the thing, I rather not be a part of THAT life...Cos it's yours and truly yours... RANTING!!!! WTH!!! 

Haix! But the that's the truth...But I have grown more...independent over the months...and I'm findin new things to immerse myself into...its like dipping into a pool at the end of the day...And there are gonna be new people to meet, new friends to make...new love to be found...

And I know, somewhere deep inside, that the moment I open these doors...the door to you will be shut forever...And soon, we'll only 'just' be friends...And yet somehow...AS OF THIS VERY MOMENT... I dont dread that...And I cant explain this feeling. It's not hate or love...It's the feeling of letting go.

This is the real feeling of letting go...its like a passing cloud that floats slowly out of your hand...taken away by the soft wind...you let it go with no emotions...only reminiscence... 

This is so surreal...like a moment in time when everythin stops for a split second...

and soon the ground will rush up to my face...but til that moment, this is right. This will always be right...Haix. And I wont say I wil miss you...but I wont forget you either...

Today was a Good Day!!!

It was a great day today!!! And i mean reli great!!! I had no idea it will be this fun...seriously

Today I normally have 3 lessons...Media applications, Film Appreciation, And history of film and telev.

But I was up all nite surfin` the net...so I was damn shagged!!! 

I WANTED TO GET OUT OF THE SCH!!! 

HAHA!! My mom suddenly called...said mi bro was missin`...he hadn't come back from sch...And he's not the type who has things to do in sch too...She said she wanted me to go look for him. 

SO I was like 'Fine!". Left sch at 1...Before I left, gave Shawn 'The Game'...He had an orgasm by jus readin` the book ok? He is lovin` the whole pickup thing...LOL!!!

Anywayz, was on the train...In the last carriage from dover, there were these bunch of guys...They were mentally challenged kids...around 15-17 yeasr old.. And they were noisy as hell...They were runnin` up and down the train and chasin` each other...2 of them apparently had some sort of problem...In the end, they confronted each other and IT WAS HILARIOUS!!!

ONE OF THEM ACTUALLY THREATENED TO PRESS THE EMERGENCY STOP BUTTON IF THE OTHER HIT HIM!!! LOL!!! 2 MATS IN FRONT OF ME WERE LAFFIN` THEIR HEADS OFF...ALONG WIT SOME OF THE OTHER YOUNGER PASSENGERS...

But I wasnt TAT evil ok? I kept quiet and I didnt even smile or laff...U noe...They're mentally challeneged...so its not nice for me to laff...By the time they got off at Admiralty, one of them was cryin` that they were goin` to call the SMRT ppl to catch him...

I reached home, dropped mi stuff and left to look for the idiot...First place I go to is Mi old sch...And I have to tell u that under normal circumstances, I wld have been veri nervous to walk in...I always viewed myself as bein` very unpopular in sch...

He wasn't there, I picked up courage (and quite easily I might add!!!) and walked over to a table in the canteen and asked a bunch of sec 5's if they've seen mi bro...No one had apparently...

Now I was getting fuckin pissed...I left the sch and went to look in the surroundin` neighbourhood. I walked over to the playground, And saw two of mi juniors Ganesh and Rat...HAHA!!! Love those guys!!! They were crazy as ever man!!! 

After some detective work and interrogation (asking), I managed to find out the phone no. of a  contact of mi brotha's (his fren). After more interrogation (asking again) I discovered that no one had seen him after sch...very suspicious! ( WHERE THE FUCK HE GO!!???)

i made a cold call to hq (home) only to hear the suspect's voice on the other line (THE LITTLE ASS WAS HOME!!!) after a hearty laff (I WAS GONNA KILL THAT LITTLE BITCH!!!) I sat down and enjoyed the company of Rat and Ganesh! (HA! YEA RITE!!!)

It was great. Insultin` each other like hell...Then I showed them some breakdance freezes...A bunch of kids saw me and asked me to show them...LOL!!!

So i did and nxt thing u noe, they were all like breakin` on the floor doing windmills and shit...I WAS LIKE 'GODDAMN!!! THIS KIDS ARE GOOD MAN!!!' LOL!!!

After a while, i set those kids on Rat!!! Hilarious!!! Haha!! 

While I was tokin` to them, they were tellin` me that I was quite popular in sch...And I went like 'What theFuck?' Apparently an old teacher of mine was bringin` me up as an example of a good speaker and great drama actor...LOL...

And I was like 'FUCK!!!"

I become popular AFTER I LEAVE THE SCH??? WAT THE HELL!!!

 

But that's life you know!! We toked for a while...and then somerhing freaky happened...Ganesh said a fren of hers wanted to see me...??? I asked why and she was like 'cos ur famous'

AGAIN WIT THE FAMOUS THING!!! 

But it felt nice to have a small fan club though!!! She came, we toked for a while...and it was a good conversation!!!

Then we parted wayz...i came home and bloggin` now. LOL!!! Haix!!! Today was a good day...