To my special Girl...

There are many types of women in my life. Some are the ones I cant tolerate, the whiny, crying for attention kind that just act cute. They freak me out.

There are the clueless helpless ones... The ones who are blur and dont know whats going on and everyone bullies them cos they are such an easy target. I pity them. There are the headstrong women who are independent and know what they want in love and push ahead irregardless of what others say. I admire them...

In fact the list can go on.

But there's only one girl... ONE girl in my life that I owe my life too... One I adore and love with my life... One I would go to any lengths to keep happy. There have been moments when I felt down and out and she was always there for me, even though she never had to say a word... She just knew that her boy was troubled and she would know exactly what to do make my day and help me through the pain.

Her smile is my sunshine and can brighten my day no matter how dark the clouds are.... Her tears like cold drenching rain on my heart that brings me to tears. Her very presence sets me at ease and I can sit down and talk to her about everything in my life and she will just smile and listen to me for hours without tiring...something most girls cant do...

I am truly blessed to have her in my life.

I never knew how important she was to me... But now I am eternally grateful to her...


There are many types of women in life.

There are the whiny, act cute ones...

The pathetic ones....

The headstrong ones...


But none of them can compare....

Cos she is the only one of her kind in my life....

And I love her with all my life..



Even though I know she will never read this, I just wanted to let her know how much I appreciate her...And let her know this....



Happy Birthday Mom.... =D

I dont wanna be anything...

I dont want a career...
I dont want people to talk about me...
I dont want to be a leader...
I dont want to be a role model...
I dont want to live a life...

I dont want anything...

I dont want to be like everyone else...


Sounds depressing? Kinda.

Past 2 weeks have been hard on me. Im not just saying. I really mean it. I've never had to endure so much physical pain and mental torture in my whole life.

Leaders course wasnt as rosy as I thought it would be. I knew it was going to be hard, but who would have thought it would be this hard.

I wake up at 5am everyday and do strenuous PT, followed by hours of lecture and lessons. And then we have to settle alot of stores and admin for our trainings the next day and by the time we hit the sack, it could easily be 11 or 12pm. Next day, we wake up and we are off to God knows where to spend the whole day doing exercises, like urban ops or navigation until 1030pm and then we are dropped off in Mandai to navigate through the night or something like that...

I'm not whining. Dont get me wrong. I am actually trying to take it all in stride. But the most painful thing about this past few weeks is how I've let my attitude slide.

I used to be so full of energy and vibe during BMT. I wanted to accomplish so much... But now during leaders course, Im just worried about getting through the day, surviving...

Just survive... endure... take it...

Words that work to keep me down and out while the rest of my fellow trainees take the chance to step up to the plate and show what they've got. And when i look at them, I get even more depressed... and its like a vicious cycle that keeps going on for the whole 5 and a half days...

I booked out of camp this week with one aim in mind: Next week onwards, its gonna be different... Its gonna be like BMT again,

No matter how tired I am, Im going to keep pushing, keep marching, keep singing and soldiering on. No matter how down I feel, I am going to keep my guys' spirits up. Keep them motivated. Keep them  moving.

No matter what the day brings, Ill take it, and go through it without breaking a sweat...

Leaders is a whole new challenge for me. For the first time in my life, I'm facing an obstacle where I have to use my 100% energy and willpower to clear it.... maybe more.

Its refreshing to push urself to the limits and accomplish your assigned task and tell yourslef 'good job'...

There's a line in the Leaders' creed that we have to say out every day before meals that really struck a cord with me. here it is:

Resolutely will i honor the trust bestowed upon me. I will apply my dare and skill. I will use my initiative. I will not fail...I am a leader, follow me.

I will not fail. Everytime we say this part, no matter how tired or shagged we are, everyone says that one part with so much energy, with so much power it sends shivers down my back. Its a powerful line. Its a devastating line. People have overcome so many impossible obstacles in life because of that one line...

And its that one line that gave me a new perspective of life last night. A new direction... Energy and drive to push on and conquer the barriers that they have thrown at me....

So here's the second part to my intro:


I dont want a career...  I want an adventure

I dont want people to talk about me... I want them write stories about me

I dont want to be a leader... I want to be a hero

I dont want to be a role model... I want to be a Legend

I dont want to live a life... I want to live a lifestyle... My lifestyle

I dont want anything... i want everything...

I dont want to be like anyone else.... I just wanna be me... One and only...

Are we losing it?

At times, i feel like we've lost it, what we once had. the magic, the passion and the dreams. i dont know if you feel it, but i do. i see it everytime i book out and it hurts me deeply. i dont know where we went wrong or what we did, but we dont seem excited about it the way we were so many months back. 

Frankly speaking, i think we have to wake up our fukcing ideas if we want to go on together and acheive what we set out to do. im not the only one who thinks this way. 

Time is running out. soon we will just be memories and everything will drift apart. its already happening. please do something about it before we lose it... cos its the only thing ive got.

ps: the way i see it, theres only us. if anyone else tries to intrude into our lives and change us, ill fuck them up. cos this is ours, and i wont let them destroy it.

SCT RAJ

Its been a month since I blogged.

I barely have time to blog, even on the weekends. I come out of camp, rush home to change and go out, mostly to Semb. Weekends have now become so precious to me, and every second wasted is like gold dust seeping through my hands... Haix. I dont even know what the heck the gold dust thing was about.

Anyways, POPed last week Friday. It was spectacular. I enjoyed it, especially since my family was around, along with Anaz, Suadz and Kanitha. I received the Platoon best award, which was a fucking big surprise to me... Never expected it. I was also posted to CSLC, Commando Small-Unit Leader COurse, which is what  wanted.

But somehow, Im not that happy. The last 1 week in camp was really stressing on us. New people, new bunk, and a whole lot more shit to learn... Life in the army just got tougher. For the last 3 days in camp, all I could think about was Booking Out... I didnt wanna be in there. I missed my old bunkmates. I missed my old Platoon. I missed my BMT... Fuck. Its only 1 week into our new course and Im already feeling stressed...wtf.

Maybe its cause we didnt get a nice long break after our POP, like the rest of the NSFs did. Everyone else got 10 days... I only got 4...

Which was why I was so fucking relieved to get out of camp this week... I wanted to spend it with people I felt comfortable with, doing things I used to do back when I was a civvie. Saturday musical practice didnt turn out the way I wanted it to... Half the guys were gone by the time I got there. But that was ok. Went over to Palani's house to surprise him. Then me and Nats left to go lan. That was probably the most relaxing thing i did this weekend. Just the two of us thrashing virtual Chinese Army and Middle Easter forces in our baddass chopper... HAHA.

Miss doing Hamsam show with the...em...PINKY-GS guys. Lol. Crazy care-free days. Fuck la, we need to do an episode again guys. Soon. Doing an episode with you guys will feel like a well spent weekend.

 Maybe go for a movie after that. And then thon overnight somewhere and lepak.

Hmm, letting all this out just made me feel better. Lol.

Maybe thats what I need to do. Plan my weekends so that I have something to look forward to each week... Something to get me through the days. Haha.

I think i've found the answer to my dilemma.

Shake the dust off

Its been a LOOOONG time since I blogged.

And tonight I feel like blogging again. A lot has been happening in my life in the past one month.

Most importantly, National Service.

I've realized more things about myself and learnt a lot in these past few weeks than I've learnt in the in the past few months. Army life has been an eye opener for me.

People have always told me how army life is a waste of time, how it sucks away your precious social life etc etc.

I honestly dont feel any of that.

Army is fun.

Straight up. Its Freaking fun! I enjoy every minute of it. This may sound like bullshit, but hear me out.

Army has taught me how to accept changes in your life and take them into stride, and perform to the best of your abilities, no matter the situation. Everyday is another challenge for me.  Getting up, doing PT, marching, learning new things about being a soldier, more PT and then more learning.

But every day I wake up with only one thought in my mind: Today's Yoga will be better than yesterday's Yoga. Today I will break yesterday's standards. Today I will set new standards for myself.

Everyday I force myself to run faster, push harder and climb higher than I did the day before. Its a challenge to me, a chance to push my limits.

And being a Commando recruit, your limits get higher and higher each day.

My first IPPT test, I ran my 2.4km in 9mins 54 secs. I've never run that fast in my life. And i thought I would never run that fast again.

2 days ago I ran again... 8 mins 53 secs. Seeing that drastic improvement made me realize how much Ive been pushing myself, how much my endurance has risen. Im proud of myself. I am. I wont deny it. Its one of those few rare opportunities in life where I can look myself in the mirror and say: Good Job Dude!

But more than anything, I'm proud of my fellow soldiers, people who cant run, who cant push, but they refuse to give up, refuse to let pain affect them. People who believe in mind over matter.

The old army saying: You make your best buddies in BMT is true. Suffering together, pushing each other, motivating each other has brought me and my bunkmates close together to the point where it seems like I've known them for years, even though we've only known each other for 4 weeks.

Learning how to motivate each other and take care of each other is something I take away with me when I leave camp every week. What the Army has thought me, I apply.

My sergeants have taught me the best way to lead people is not by screaming at them like dogs, making us do pushups and torturing us. It's by treating each and every person around you as an equal, as a man. As someone who is responsible and mature, irregardless their age, background and race. Thats the way they treat us.

Give respect and take respect.

I've gotten back in touch with my Dad, talking to him a lot when I have the chance. It no longer feels like a father son talk, but more of a friend to friend talk. I want to have more of this talks with him, even though my weekends are so limited.

But one negative thing about the Army is how it has freaked up my body clock. Nowadays, no matter what time I sleep, i still automatically get up at 530am, and I cant go back to bed.

So forgive me if I seem tired or worn out. I just need a bit more adjusting.

But on the overall, I love NS life. Why must I hate it?

I'd rather learn to love the next 2 years of my life than bitch and moan about it. You just have to look at the positive side of things.



For my AFT:

Tonight was a really great night guys. I had a load of fun with you guys, hanging out at Vivo, playing board games and listening to that crazy ride back home.

If I seemed tired or out of it for the past few weeks, its not cos I am 'step' cool or whatever. Im just tired. But I try my best to be lively around you guys. Its not that hard. You guys cheer me up everytime. EVERYTIME.

Every night, I stand at the railing of barracks and from where I am, I can see all the way across the island to the City. I can see places like Hougang and Punggol. Its beautiful, being able to see civillisation from camp.

My only gripe is that I cant see all the way back to Sembawang. Back to home.

 This may sound mushy, but Im just gonna say it.

Knowing Im going to see you guys on the weekends is what keeps me going through the week. Every night I go to sleep, I know its another day closer to hanging out with you guys. I do miss you guys while Im in camp. Its hard not to.

You spend the better part of the past 2 years with people who you treat and love like family and suddenly you only get to see them for a day in a week? Its hard.

Thats why the moment I book out of camp, I rush back home to change and go out to the CC to see you guys. Walking from the MRT station to the CC is nostalgic to say the least. The thousand and one walks we've had there, the nonsense we've done, the shows we've put up...

Maybe most of you dont understand it, but to me, it really brightens my day up when I walk into the Theatrette and I see all of you all there, doing what you guys love doing best, and suddenly, it seems like old times again.

Some wise dude once said Absence make the heart grow fonder. It really does. Even though I dont seem like I miss you guys, just know that I am happy as F*** to see you all. Screw BF2. I'd rather just sit there and just watch you guys perform for hours. Its like therapy. It motivates me. It energizes me and preps me for another week of hard pushing.

Tonight was one of those nights I wont forget for months to come. Im going to take back the letter with me back to camp and pin it up on my mirror. So every night before I go to sleep, I can take a look at it, and go to bed with a smile on my lips knowing somewhere far off across the isalnd, I have people I truly care for waiting for me.

People who I call my family.

PS: Im going to break the Commando 2.4 km timing record before my BMT ends... And Im going to do it for you guys...

The Karate Kid

So I haven't posted in a while. Thought I might start with a short review of the movie, The Karate Kid. Haven't done reviews in a while either...

Now before I start, let me just say this.... THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO KARATE IN THIS FILM.

Not to say I did not enjoy this film; I did. But it doesn't make sense to me to call it the The Karate Kid, when its all just Kungfu. But thats my only gripe with this movie, and that aside, it was an enjoyable 2 hour flick.

The story is your typical Hollywood style Western-kid-goes-East-doesn't-like-it-gets-bullied-by-other-Eastern-kids-wants-to-go-home-finds-another-Eastern-guy-to-teach-him-some-cool-shit-then-wins-the-tournament-thingy.

To put it simply, take the entire storytline of Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift, replace the driftng with some kungfu, Sean with Dre, Tokyo with Beijing and you've got yourself the Karate Kid. 

Oddly enough, both mentor characters from both movies share the same name; Han from Tokyo Drift and Mr Han from Karate Kid... Hmm...

Anyways, you might think that the same formula might bore people, but what worked well in Tokyo Drift works well here too, albeit with better acting. 

Jaden puts up a great performance as a black kid in a chinese country learning kungfu to defend himself. For his second performance, I was quite surprised that the young Smith can act. But given who his parents are, it wasn't really that surprising after all. There were even times when I saw a bit of Big Willie come onto the screen, especially in the comedy scenes. And the romance between Jaden and his female co-star didn't play that important a role in this film, which if you ask me is a smart thing to do. Experience tells me action directors can't direct love scenes (Anakin and Padme anyone?)

Jackie Chan also delivers as the quiet, serious Mr Han, a man grieving the death of his wife and son who redeems himself by teaching the young Jaden kungfu. Most of us are too used to Jackie's hilarious actions and dialogue, so when this film presents a slightly more serious tone to him, it feels like a completely different person is acting. But there were a few scenes where the Jackie we knew poked through and the audience had a good laugh.

The film is a solid 2 hours, but we didn't notice the time passing til the end. Then some of us had to run for the last trains... 

On the overall, the film is definitely worth the money and time. If you're looking for something light-hearted to enjoy with your friends, this is definitely THE movie to watch.

I'd personally rate this movie 3.5 out of 5 stars.

PS: Several well-known kungfu stars also make a cameo in this film... Can you spot them? 

Resorts World Sentosa

It's been quite some time since I blogged... A month actually. I've been caught up with a LOT of stuff; Peter Pan,  working and of course Resorts World Sentosa... So this blog might not be as epic as my other posts...

How can I not blog about Resorts World Sentosa...Haha.

The past one month has been a very fulfilling experience. Rehearsing like mad, goofing off, pissing people off, saving PA's ass and then putting up an AWESOME SHOW! We had a LOT of fun on stage, of that I have no doubt.

To all my fellow AFT family members, we have gone through some very hard times in the past one month. We've shouted at people and been shouted at by people, danced and sung our hearts, lungs and knee caps off. But we all deserve a round of applause for accepting everything on a positive note and improving ourselves. In Sameer's words, positivity and negativity equals prosperity...

Last night will be the talk of the the town for months to come. I'm proud of Saras for taking bullshit on both ends, from PA and from us, proud of all the non-dancers and non-singers (almost everyone) for trying their best and putting themselves into an uncomfortable position.... just fucking proud.

Last night is as significant as CInderElla Revamped! Arteen Furteens has just achieved a greater height. Once again we've proven ourselves to everyone. Every freaking YEC will now know we exist, will now know we are out there and they obviously know we are fucking good!

Now lets just relax and wait for the phone calls to come in. We'll up to our necks in performances for the next few months..

Tired and Happy Mr Yoji...

I'm kinda Busy

The War on Terrorism is taking a toll on our soldiers... BRING THEM BACK!!!

Now I'm just waiting for Al-Qaeda to release their remake on Bad Romance...

Never Second Guess Yourself

If there is one thing I learnt this past few months is to never let people make you second guess yourself. 

Never doubt yourself. Never let yourself think that maybe THEY were right... Maybe it isn't really a good idea... 

Its an IDEA.. YOUR Idea.

Who's they to tell you you didn't do a good job... Fuck them. We pulled through and made it. People just say shit cos they want to give comments and suggestions, but when it comes to doing it, they run away. They're too afraid to make their dreams work out. 

Let the haters hate... Let the spectators spectate. It's our court and we're the ones playing the game. Believe in what you do. If you KNOW its going to work, let it happen. Don't stop yourself. 

You decide what you do with your life

Not God, not fate, not them... Only you.