The Final Stretch

It's the final stretch... The last challenge left for me... For us.

It's been 10 months of hard work, and now we have one last obstacle to conquer.

One last Jungle to cross,
One last Mountain to climb

One last March...


There is something about ourselves that up to now still puzzles me.

We know what's coming, the hardship, the turnouts, the discomfort of living off jungles, climbing mountains and trudging through swamps covered up to the neck in mud, muck and leeches.

We know how fucked up it will be... But we don't give in to it.

We don't back away from it.

No matter how much we bitch and moan, we'll still walk through that door and into those challenges and face them, just so one day we can look back and say, "I did that. I went through it and gave my all. I earned my wings, my dagger and my beret."

If someone gave me the option to turn back time and told me I could choose if I wanted to go through it again or pick something simpler, I'll still walk through that same door.

Why?

Cause there is something addictive about pushing yourself through places you never thought existed, raising the bar for yourself.

There is something addictive about being what I am, doing what I do.

I will brag and say it's not something most people can do. It takes a certain level of tolerance, strength and willpower to do what we do. Many people can say, "I can do it lah. I could have been Commando." But how many will willingly go through it? How many can say that they have what it takes?

Am I boasting? Yes... It's something I'm proud of myself for. For going through it, for not backing out.


I am exactly one month away from earning my Red. One month away from finishing this journey. It's been long, tough and one hell of a ride.

But exactly one month away on the 24th of June 2011 at sundown, we'll don our Red and become part of the brotherhood.


One month away, I'll don my rightful status as Elite.


Now...how many can say they can do tt?

Time is too precious

Time is the biggest mindfuck of all.

When you want it to go fast, it slows to a snail's pace and when you want it to slow down, it shoots by, leaving you in the smoke...

I hate the fact that weekends blow by so fast. It means I have to book in... Haix...

And booking in to Helldon camp is gonna be a pain in the ass, amongst other body parts. It sucks to be me. Seriously. Most NSFs go through their toughest times in BMT, then they pass out. Some of them get posted to units that are quite active, so they have to be in camp from Monday to Friday, with some nights out thrown in. Others get posted to units that let you book out everyday, like a 8 to 5. But the common characteristics amongst all these people is that their lives are generally slack, or at least not as bad as BMT.

Mine sucks. I'm a 3rd Sgt, and I still get treated like dog shit. I'll book in today and will book out next Saturday...even then, camp will mindfuck you by dragging your bookout time, so I am mentally prepared for a late night bookout on Saturday.

On top of that, being the first few weeks in camp, they are gonna literally make our lives hell...

Haix.

Sometimes I wonder if all this is worth it. Will it be better if I just get posted out to some camp outside where the life is SOOO much better? Money wont be as much, but at least I will feel like I have some sort of freedom. But I know I wont let myself do that... And that is the dilemma. I want to quit, but I wont let myself.

I'm not a kengster. Dont get me wrong. I can take the physical pain, the trainings and all... But its the fact that we book out so late and have so little time for families and friends that is getting to me. Time is way too precious.

Every second of bookout counts... Every second that passes is another second closer to bookin...

Everyone of my campmates are freaking terrified of camp... Of booking in...

But I guess we have no choice.

Haix. Its only for 1 year and 10 months. I've already finished 6 months... Another 16 more to go...

I should stop now and start packing up for camp...

Wasted 10 minutes writing this out... DAMMIT!!!

Untitled

A Red Sun Rises Crimson Over The Distant Shores..

A Sea Gull Echoes Its Death Cry.

The Widows Stand By The Water With Faces Forlorn..

And The Waves Crash Onto Their Feet Like Red Dye.

Their Weeping Can Be Heard For A Thousand Nights..

Their Haunted Cries Echoes On The Gale.

When Would This Waiting Souls Finally Fade..

Or There Is No End To Their Ghostly Tale...