New Found Belief...

Note: A confusing blog post... If you get headaches, Im sorry...

Its refreshing to find an answer after searching for a long, long time.

And I've found my answer today. A reason to live to the fullest. Im not gonna say what that reason is. It will be confusing for the misinformed and offensive to the hard-headed, but rest assured Ill always be the same...

But my morals may change... But do I care?

Have I ever cared?

Should I ever care?

Yes I should. I love the people in my life, and I care about them a lot.

I also found another reason to reach higher... A reason some may find racist....But I find it to be the greatest reason of all...

A true purpose in life.

This is the most idiotic blog post I've ever written...

But you'll see the answers soon enough...

To a Sister in Need

I know me and Suadz couldn't be there all the way at your chalet...And I know you probably felt sad that we were gone so soon...

But we just want you to know that we both love you alot. Really.

You just out a smile on our lips every single time...without fail. Even with all your compromises and mistakes, we still love you.

So it pains us to hear what you told us last night... It hurt abit. I was a bit saddened...Suadz was furious. What you said was really stupid. So dont ever say it again. you make our friendship sound materialistic... I know this is not the correct word, but you make it seem that way. You pay back what you get kinda thing...

Thats not what friends are for. We're not a bank with loans and payback schemes. We just love to be around our friends and we just love to share our lives and secrets with each other... So you never have to feel indebted to us.

How would you feel if we did the same thing to you???

If you ever want to talk about anything, call us...

We've got nothing but time...

The FlooD of EmotTions...

just thInking about someThings. isn't it odd how you always think some things in life are simple, but when the time comes, you are really stumped as to how you're going to Solve them. odd how you also happened to say that you may never get yourself into such a situation...yet here you are, stuck again.... grr...

another loNg tiring day... went to work and rotted...although im getting the hang Of the candy counter. managed to run the entire counter myself for a full two hours before i had to scream for help... wooTs!

my brother is screaming in the room...scaring the little girl... my mom is laughing.....What sick sadistic pleasures do people get from such activities?

Haix....what sick sAdistic pleasures do you get from such Things??

i wake everY morning to see your face... i am drawn to yOu...the sweet tantilizing taste of care-freeness, yet i know it will end Up in pain for me. yet i still follow you...

haix....gotta keep you out of my mind now... its Too painful. going in can mean more Harm than good....yet not goIng in brings me to the questioN...what if?

what if i did go in? what if i did follow you all the way. will we go where i want to? or will you taKe me on a journey through neverland....where everythIng is beautiful and perfect...buT it will never be for me...

from a shiny car to a rusty heap

such questions rack my mInd every day when i wake up... emo kid...i know...

but i like dwelling on Such things. but wise men said to not never dwell on what ifs...cos what ifs will never be....

i have to stop thinking about You. and start thinking about me...

so im going to stop looking at yOu...stop seeing you....stop thinking about you...

til i'll Just get a grip of myself...

Ill miss you...for now...

Movie Magic

Movie Magic....

What happens behind the scenes at the movies?

I dont mean 'Lights, Camera and Action.'

I mean at the MOVIES....

Popcorn, Silver Screen, Movie Premieres, Opening Night, Box Office and the ever faithful Candy Counter that has serviced our sweet tooth with its mouth-watering, eye dazzling sight for many years....

I've always wondered what really happens behind the screen...

What happens from the moment you enter a cinema, to when you buy the tickets, to the moment you step up to the candy bar to order your sweets, to when you sit down and watch the blockbuster to the moment you step back out into sunlight and reality?

What goes into all these to make it happen?

A lot... trust me.

I've only worked at the Candy Counter for 2 days, but I can tell you that it takes at least 30 people to run a cinema effectively to bring you a seamless experience.

From the Box Office staff, to the ushers who tear your tickets to the candy counter staff (Thank you!) to the projectionist to the cleaners.

From the moment you enter the cinema, to the moment you leave, its a mad rush behind the screens and counters to bring you the most seamless experience ever....

Now I'm part of that magic... And I haven't even gotten to best part yet...

Friday night openings....

Woots! Im just waiting for Friday Night...

Here is something for you...

3 short poems....For 3 different people. Each poem speaks specifically to one different person...


For the Insecure One...
If I should die, before I awake...
Just know that my dreams will always stay.
Float through the skies or the bottom of a lake...
This sweet memories will never go away....


For the Depressed One...
There are always times when you feel sad...
Times when you will cry helplessly.
Times when the world seems bad...
But through the times I'll be there for you Selflessly....


For the Troubled One...
A red sun rises crimson over the distant shore...
A sea gull echoes its death cry.
The widows stand by the waters, their faces forlorn...
As the waves crash onto their feet like red dye.
Their weeping can be heard for a thousand days...
Their haunted cries carried on the gale.
When would this waiting souls finally fade...
Or is there no end to their ghostly tale....


You will find your answers here....

Untitled

I am getting bad at naming my blog posts, as you can see for yourself. Lol

Anyways, last night went for 'The Daniel James Sketch Show', and before I start I have to say a big THANK YOU to Henry for coming down last minute to help out. Really appreciate it bro.

And a lot of thanks to Mani, Shan and Nithya for helping me transport the equipment down for me. Appreciate it guys! =D

Anyways, moving on to the show.

DJ, I know you were tired and worried about Marie and that might have affected your performance, just know that we enjoyed it. ALOT!

Especially the end. Relax bro. Its your first time, so dont put so high expectation on yourself. Chill out.

The next one will be better!I promise. =D

Anyways, sitting at home now. Just reformatted my laptop so that's good news. Just downloading a bunch of songs I want to bring along later to the CC to dance to. Just gonna go all out today and dance. Need it really...

For those of you who dont know,Arteen Furteens is organising a massive dance tribute to MJ on the 1st of Aug.

To find out more details, just go to Facebook and type in Arteen Furteens and add us and we'll keep you updated about the tribute.

Shit. Gotta go. Dog's puking. Bye!

A Weird Day that turned out Beautifully Fine...

Today was a really odd day.

I started out by meeting up with Nithya in the morning. Chilled with for a while then sent her to Jurong East MRT. (I bounced back to Woodlands) It was nice to see her. =D

Then headed to Woodlands to chillax until Timezone was open, but the whole CP was closed. Walked around like a beggar for an hour waiting for XCraft or Timezone to open. It really sucks to walk around aimlessly, dressed like your off to some tribute party for MJ, with a laptop and charger in your bag...I was bored shitless...

Finally Timezone opened (Thank goodness for that) Played a few games, then decided to ask the counter staff for a job there....The goddamn lady made me run around timezone looking for the manager.

Here's a question.

What should, or rather WHAT would you expect the Manager of Timezone to wear?

ANS: A Timezone shirt or at least carry a badge that says 'Manager'.

No. You know what this idiot was wearing? Some cheap shit Pasar Malam shirt and berms and he was playing f***ing BOWLING WITH A NINE YEAR OLD!!


ok the nine year old was made up BUT HE WAS PLAYING FRIGGIN` BOWLING!!!


I was se-ri-ous-ly pissed...ok, ticked off. Then, I ask this guy about the hours and stuff and he was very professional about it, telling me what duties I'm expected to do and stuff. Then I ask him about pay and guess what?

Its only $3.50 an hour....for 12 hour shifts. 4 days a week... And I have 8 week trainings...

I just smiled and left.... I'd rather be a customer than work at your arcade for the shit pay when even Macdonalds-french-fries-cooking-aunties earn at leat 4.50 an hour!

I left, hung around for ten minutes then met Saras, who thankfully wasnt dressed as bad as she was dressed yesterday....

Sorry girl... But the whole black leggings, jean shorts and white long sleeve shirt looks cute...Just not on you.... =D...

.... Ouch...I see pain-to-come....

Moving on with less mundane stuff...



We went over to NUS to help her Paint sets....note the word PAINT...



We didnt lift a single fucking brush the whole day




The moment we got there, Shrek's 2nd in command was there to tell us that we had to build stairs...

Saras was smiling at the guy...He got freaked out. I was cool with building sets. Just a chance to nail away my frustration!

So we started, and somewhat built sides for the stairs, when we realised that the door archways that me and prabs and saras and god knows who else painted a few nights ago was trashed cos this geniuses forgot about a little thing called 'Wind'...and 'Light fragile Wood'...and 'REMEMBER TO FREAKING SECURE YOUR SETS DOWN SO THEY DONT COMMIT SUICIDE BY FALLING'!!!

I know I seem like I'm PMSing, but Im not.... My god. Why do I get the feeling Im gonna read this blog and realize that it will sound like some PMSing girl wrote it... And why do i feel like the house is tilting to my...erm...Its just tilting...

Getting back. We finished the stairs...or rather the sides and we were waiting around cos we had to drive up to YJC and get the dastardly pillars that ruined so many shirts for me...

So we waited....and waited...and waited...

And then we realized that when the fella who said 30 mins...He meant INDIAN timing...

Macha! Tamilan timing da! (Dude! Indian timing bro!)

So we waited, or rotted til freakin` 310, when some dude in a taxi-car (Hyundai Sonata) rolled up. He looked ok la. A mix between Anyan, the famous Tamil villain with the funky hair, and an Onion.

So me, Saras, Pru (is it Puru? Or Pulu? or Puku? I duno. I dont remember the names, just the insults I throw at them) Onion and their friend Ganga...or Ganja...All I know is that he couldnt afford good earrings. he probably found nuts and stuffed shiny rocks in them with white glue then put them in his ears and called them 'bling'... Then we rode to CCK.

We were supposed to get the truck first apparently. At CCK, We pulled up into a gas station.

Saras started banging her head against the seat in front of her cos we were late. The Mappilais all got out and were discussing gas prices. I was amused.

I bought Saras Kindo Beuno so she would shut up... I was wrong..

After pulling out of the gas station,the ;Mappilais' were discussing where to go next. I thought they were being serious and getting down to getting the truck and then going to YJ. Really professional right? ;D

So we pulled up in front of some blocks. I thought this is wher ethe truck was. Onion, who was the driver, pulled up to the kerb and he says this...

"Dey. Bus stop la. Lets be responsible.'

So they park the car 1 metre in front of the yellow box on the road at the busstop, get out,


and have a smoke break...

...


...


Now I was banging my head against the car seat... Saras was crying into her kindo bueno...well almost... The dudes were standing around like they were heroes and shit...

Then a couple of Anjacks (Their friend) rolled up and for some reason Saras thought her life was over. Apparently people in YJ would see her with Anjacks and her rep would go down and she will turn out to be crap and blah blah... O.o

Goddamit woman, just say they are your minions that have been subjected to your freaking manipulative, seducin-... manipulative ways... (Pain-to-come....)

So we drive from there to the truck stop, get the truck. Then I direct them to Yishun. ( Wow! I actually helped =D)

Time was 4.30 I think when we pulled into YJ.

We took the normal temp checks and went in. Saw kanitha in her 'lovely' red sweater... Lols!

We got the pillars down pronto...Sorry Saras for the shit that happened with the last 2 pillars.... roflol!!! I really am....

We managed to fit the stuff into the truck perfectly. Swee!

Then we piled into the car and drove back.

Once back in NUS, me and Saras thought we could finish up the stairs. So she went around looking for the red and blue paint... She found the blue paint...

Where was the red??

Shrek to Puku : Dey no more red ah?
Puku to Ganja: Dey, no more red ah?
Ganja to Onionface: Dey no more red ah?
Onionface to Saras: No more red ah?

Saras to some being in heaven : SCREW THEM ALL!


I will be honest.

I WASNT pissed that there was no more red. (I wasnt really)

I was sadistically watching how amazingly retarded this dudes were. I swear! This are guys you will love cos they are just a bunch of people who dont know what the heck they are doing...But they happen to be self-proclaimed experts on the topic of life and its philosphies.... Note: Sivaji...

So Saras decided to leave the brainiacs to the discussion of how to nail 3 wooden planks to a wooden pillar (Apparently Einstein couldnt solve this...)

She left instructions to Shrek who looked like he couldnt understand why some higher being was talking to him.

(I Know im putting people down...But seriously. Yo've got to see them. I actually love this guys! =D)

So me and Miss Girl left. I was actually contemplating pouring water on her head to see steam come up... really...

After that it was just normal again (Its really the NUS guys who made the day interesting)

Then Shan calls me, or calls Saras to ask me about dinner with Kesavan and Kanitha at BK at yishun.

Saras got off at semb, probably to go home and fume about those guys....Good luck . . . Girl.... :D

The I met the gus at BK.

FUN LIKE HELL! really! It was like being back in sec 3 again with ya'll.. We were just laughing our ass off.

We were laughing so hard, some dude kept saying 'SHOO, SHOO'

We didnt care. We laughed harder. I suggested throwing a shoe at him, they all laughed. I dont see why all my honest suggestion turn into jokes... I was really thinking of throwing a shoe.

AFTER that, we walked Shan back to the station and sent her off, all the while commenting on her finely 'toned' arms and tummy.. JB 4 LIFE!

Then sent miss beggar girl home.... LOL on the escalator Kanitha...really!

Then me n kesavan walked over to the 812 bus stop where we tried to catch up on life, but there is just too much.

We all just need to meet up one day and have fun. Just the AI mackalz! Really!

Sent him off, then came home and now writing this. My god. Took me an hour to write this, and this is probably the longest blog post I've ever done.

LOL! I am seriously contemplating skipping sch on Thurs just to go down and spend 30 freaking hours at NUS just to see the shit that happens!! LOL

Til the next crazy episode, see ya!!

PS: Michael Jackson Lovers........Its Coming....

Croo....Croo....Snore....

Blogging again after a long time at the request of a certain someone. Frankly speaking, I dont know what to blog about, then again it was never like I knew what to write. It just came.

Anyways, lets first have an update on my life.

Went for a movie with Praven, Sameer and KC yesterday. It was last minute thing and Im glad they came. Thanks Guys! And happy birthday to KC, who is going to play my tech geek in my Zombie Flick. Woots!

Got a lot on my plate now, courtesy of schoolwork and AFT stuff, but all that is under control too, I hope.

Zzzz. Im just tired right now. And I cant really pour out my heart here... Lol.

Sorry guys. Looks like this is going to be a pretty boring blog for a while...

;D

A Birthday I wont forget!

I am at a loss for words here..

Im wondering if today was really worth it? LOL! Ouch I Know...But read on guys...Ill explain why...

I just had a birthday surprise party with my families...note the word families. Both my real ones and my friends who have become families...

But at the same time, Im behind work.... WAYYYY Behind work. Supposed to finish work today, but once again, im behind!!! Haix...

I've been alive for 687035 days OR 16489096 Hours OR 989345725 Minutes OR 59360743462 Seconds...

LOL! yes I was calculating that the whole day!!!

And it WAS an awesome day!!!

I was out with my cuz who said he wanted to see some parrot and buy it (i fell for it). Then he decided not to buy it. Then we came back...I walked through the door....

To see like 16 people sat there who screamed 'SURPRISE' AND STARTED SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Oh My God Guys! Really. I was stunned, shocked, surprised and just completely shut down.

I just couldn't register anything in my mind. I was beyond....wow!

And yes guys... 'I NEEDED A MOMENT!' Lol!

thanks to Nithya and Suadz and Isabelle And Shanty and god knows who else for masterminding this... And thanks to everyone for helping to give me a cardiac arrest!!! Lol!! I really appreciate it!!

I .... wow... Im still shocked. Lol....

Just know that I came back to do work that I was supposed to finish tonight, but now im just to heck care it.... Lol! You guys just made my day.

Truth is, it really was the best birthday surprise I've ever had...And I've had a lot in my life...but this was the best... Cos this was the first time I could see both my families, my real ones and the ones who have grown to be family.

Tomorrow is back to life....as a nineteen year old this time...

Yet, Im gonna kena for not doing work....for not prioritising... for not being responsible!!!

I'm gonna get scolded and yelled at and put down for being behind my tasks....For enjoying myself instead of doing work....For not doing work, again!

So...Is it worth it to go through all that pain-to-come for a moment of peace and serenity?

Yes...

It is worth every goddamn second...and you better believe it...


Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends...

Today was a Good Day...

Wa!

My stupid laptop just shut off by itself, deleting whatever I was typing in here. Lol!

And the only thing that was saved was the title. LOL!

Irony...haix.

Anyways, left school early today and met Shan. Then followed her to CCK where she croo-crooed me to send Isaac of to work. Lol. Sharks Sharks!

Then I met up with Ganesh and Henry and later Shanty again at Woodlands. Ate @ Breeks. Good food! Then later we went job-hunting all over Causeway Point.

Congrats to Ganesh for landing a job at Gelare within 5 mins. And happy birthday to her too! =D

Me, Shan and Henry decided to work at Pastamania, but we gotta go down on Monday to see of we get it, so pray hard for us guys.

Oh by the way, Me, Ganesh, Henry and Shan have officially become the 'Anjax Hunters'.

To those who dont know what an Anjax is :

• Typical Indian Gangster wannabe (The indian version of an Ah Beng)

• Recognized by their horrible fashion sense, their odd screeching noises and hats that float 3m off their heads.

• Habitats include cheap foodcourts, under void decks and in police stations.

• Never found in Libraries, Bookshops or any other place deemed too intellectual for them.

Lol. We went around chasing after this group of 4 Indian anjax-wannabe kids, like around 14 years of age, all over casueway. After a while the kids got irritated! And nice going Ganesh, you gave our plan away. You are so NOT my SWAT team now!

After that saga, met Isabelle and went to Woodlands Lib where Indra joined us later. I slept til like 7 then we went back to Semb RC to chillax. Back home now. Gonna watch 'Shaun of the Dead' to get inspired.

And to Mani----We shall talk soon!!

Love ya!

Friday is Here!!!

YES!!!

The weekend. Just have to hold out for another 6 more hours exactly til school's out for the week. Need this 2 and a half days to chillax.

Got some school work, but after what happened yesterday I intend to finish it... and finish it well.

And to my bro whom I pissed off yesterday... Sorry man. I knew I was slacking off, and that ain't right. You're already doing a hell lot, so it wasn't fair for me to slack while you did work.

Gonna be seeing AFT people later. Supposed to have rehearsals in the eve... I wonder if that is still on??

Anyways, the treatment for the zombie script is coming along fine. Im about 30-40% in already. Hopefully, quite a number of people will come down tmrw eve to discuss plot and stuff. Surprisingly, quite a number of people are interested.

THANK YOU FOR ENTHUSIASM GUYS!  It really helps when i sit down and need motivation to start typing and thinking.

In school now... bored as usual.

Weird. I always thought poly would be fun. You know like how college is in the US. Just very chillax and stuff.

Quite the opposite. Its boring. I end school on some days later than my classmates. And even if we do end together, I dont normally feel like going out with them. Its like a different group of people that I find hard to associate with. I dont even know my place in class. 

It will have driven me mad if it wasn't for AFT. Just going to school, knowing that you will somehow end up with AFT people is super reassuring. I end school at 3 today. I know that by 310 I will be on the train back to meet peeps.

AH CRAP! 

Forgot to bring my laptop. Could be working on the treatment at Sembawang. Never mind. Will just chill out then. Need it.

And by the way guys... 2 things:

1. What the heck happened to the Pirate's forum?
2. And yes Praba.. I agree. What happened to Frisbee??

Going to go off now... maybe grab a bite or sleep. 

Ill see you guys later.

Peace!

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. -Theodor Geisel

Sabotaging myself

Im in school. Bored. Waiting to get out. I am just not in it today. Cant wait to get out and see AFT peeps. 1 hour more. Grr...

Again I find myself in a situation very bad. Sabotaging myself again.

Haix. Thank you Suadz for listening to all the ramblings and stuff. I know I'm bothering you alot but its nice to have someone listen and try to understand me. So hats off to ya Sis. Although I know I'm way to com;licated to be understood in the time frame you've known me.

Whats going on in my life?

Quite a lot.

I brought myself too far to a point from which I cant bring myself back. Not really surprising seeing as how I love to imagine, but I let imagination become hope...dangerous.

I cant say some things on this blog. I have to leave the finer details up to my private blog. Yes I have a private blog...a place just for myself to rant and complain.

God is not being helpful to me...God meaning time. Time is my God, and God is not my side now. I have too many problems going on.

Hating school, jealousy, anger, hate, self-confidence issues and the genereal fear of being left out and behind. I need to release steam...go out and exert myself so that some of this pent up frustration is let out. frisbee might help, but I haven't thrown one in a week.

Its getting harder to focus now. Losing concentration. Slipping...

Its getting more and more obvious too. Im getting more moody, more out of things. You would have noticed.

I have to take time of for myself. Try to come back to my senses. Im like a satellite knocked off its course trying to fly back.

Speaking of satellites, Soundwave is awesome. He had no fight scenes but I like his design and his designation as an intelligence officer...

I know last night's conversation with you was very disturbing. Probably heard stuff you didnt want to hear, but expected to hear. Funny. I knew you weren't surprised.

Just dont know why I'm feeling this way. But I'll come back...Soon. But I dont know if it will be in time.

As for my friends, just now that I still love you guys, no matter what I do in the next few weeks.