I think its been a week! KA-POW!!!!
Let me tell you what's been up! Me and Nit had fight and we solved it. KA-POW!
It was a fight and I cant rememebr why we fought again...HAHA!! Anywayz, she havin probs wit her guy.
Let me ask you wonderful, pretty, beautiful girls out there... ; -) If your guy...tells you he feels insecure with you...and he loves you as much as you love him (If you dont then skip to paragraph 6)...and he says that to feel secure...he...has...to... ....be....ph...y...si...c...a.......l....with you....would...y...o...u.. accept...?...
No seriously...would you??? OK! Let me tell you something else. You absolutely HATE gettin physical...does that change your views now. You love him, but you don't want to get physical. Thats the prob Nit's in. Haix! And a few days back, she had a fight with him gain over this...she told me she came close to breaking up and of it wasn't for him sayin sorry, she would have. Haix...
Here's the thing Nit...I cant influenece your decision. I cant say anything...no matter how much I want to. Cos I noe you have to make that decision yourself...You have to learn how to make decisions yourslef. I'm not sayin u cant...u make small ones...
But you always ask someone for their opinion on a big one...why? Think for urself pls...Cos others might tell u something that will benefit them...Most others. When I gave you advice, I'd say I have no opinions, but u keep askin me. So when I DO tell you, it is actually an opinion that makes YOU happy...but that defeats the purpose of an opinion doesnt it.
Thing is, nowadays, I'm distancing myself from you. Purposely and subconsciously, and I think it has something to do wit jealousy. Im jealous I dont have someone to lean one like I once did. Jealous that there is another part of your life that I cant be involved in...that it doesnt include me. And here's the thing, I rather not be a part of THAT life...Cos it's yours and truly yours... RANTING!!!! WTH!!!
Haix! But the that's the truth...But I have grown more...independent over the months...and I'm findin new things to immerse myself into...its like dipping into a pool at the end of the day...And there are gonna be new people to meet, new friends to make...new love to be found...
And I know, somewhere deep inside, that the moment I open these doors...the door to you will be shut forever...And soon, we'll only 'just' be friends...And yet somehow...AS OF THIS VERY MOMENT... I dont dread that...And I cant explain this feeling. It's not hate or love...It's the feeling of letting go.
This is the real feeling of letting go...its like a passing cloud that floats slowly out of your hand...taken away by the soft wind...you let it go with no emotions...only reminiscence...
This is so surreal...like a moment in time when everythin stops for a split second...
and soon the ground will rush up to my face...but til that moment, this is right. This will always be right...Haix. And I wont say I wil miss you...but I wont forget you either...
