I had a talk with Suadz yesterday about quite alot of stuff.
Matters relating to the heart...Matters relating to our ambitions.
Sighs.
Sometimes I wonder why I tend to second guess my own abilities. Is living in the presence of others as good as me or better than me really that detrimental to my own growth? Or do I shut myself out on purpose so that I don't waste my time chasing pipe dreams. Ironic for a guy who has always believed that you can be successful in whatever you do as long as you love it. Yet here I am wondering if going full out on my love will help in the long run. Or will I become another case of 'Tried so hard...Fell so Far...'
Yes, I'm blabbering all over again.
Sighs.
My biggest problem is that I think too much of what might happen...instead of doing it and seeing the results for myself. Past experiences have showed me that I am capable, yet I keep holding back.
Is it fear? Is that the reason why I refuse to pursue my dreams? But fear of what? Failing? There is no failure, only another way of not succeeding. Then what am I fearful of? Not making it? Maybe...or maybe the fear is that I would be overshadowed by others, unable to shine out, suppressed and hidden forever.
No, that is not it. Even if it is, I won't let it happen. I still got one more card to play. One more way out of this runt I've gotten myself into.
A hell-hound waiting for his chance at the meat of success.
But is it worth it? To let him out would mean insanity. Or am I just afraid of losing control like the last time?
No, I'm giving reasons again. Reasons to stop myself from succeeding. Not going to happen.
Not again. This time round, it's going to be all the way...
...or death.
I'll let him out...I'll unchain the beast...
Let the hell-hound loose and together, we shall make it...But I won't lose control again...
He is my hound...And I am his master...
Let the hunt begin...
Enter...YoJi...
