You know it's weird.
I hate feeling like this.
The feeling of whether what you are doing is right; what if it is not meant to be. Then also at the same time, you feel like you have no other choice but to go ahead and do it.
Sighs.
I am an odd person. I can't say what or how I'm feeling now lest someone figure out what I'm talking about.
Sighs...Cyberspace.
You can't trust the anonymity, yet it is tempting to disappear into the faceless void and just pour out your heart. But i can't, cause people like me have a knack for sniffing such things out.
YES! I am a Kai-poh!
Whatever you wanna call it. I am.
That's how I live my life.
You call it being nosy...I just call it research.
You call it gossip...I call it making informed choices.
Cause the best way to learn about someone is to get someone who hates them to bitch about them...Then go to the other person and get THEM to bitch on those who just bitched on them. Then you compare results and you analyze and you figure out...
No one is right. Neither is anyone wrong.
It's just a big misunderstanding.
ZZZ
Okay! Im veering off topic.
YES I'M VERY EMOTIONALLY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. THERE! I SAID IT. HAIZ!
What am I confused about?
My sexuality....no. Im outright gay. I love guys.
That's why I'm confused about a girl
(You went back to read the 'gay' line again didn't you? No...I'm not gay. I'm just playing with you)
Odd isn't it that the person I'm talking about happens to be you.
Yes YOU!
No, not you, the other person sitting nex- OF COURSE IT'S YOU.
Damn...You look god-awful. But I still like you, don't worry.
Anyways, to the person who torments me every night when I go to sleep yet doesn't know what she's doing (YES YOU!) ...please stop.
Cause I can't take it anymore. It's driving me mad. And you're giving me all the messed up signals.
(You're probably wondering if any signal you gave me was wrong...see. IT IS YOU!)
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Sighs!
What is it about you that drives me to 'MAD-BEYOND-BELIEF!!!'
Even today I couldn't stop thinking about you!
I was just going through my dance and I just suddenly thought of you. It nearly messed me up. Kept seeing your face in the audience. I started to smile to myself. Sighs. The things you do to drive me wild...
WHY? Haiz.
Can I be outright and honest here?
I think I'm falling in love. But I don't know if it's healthy. I rarely meet you. I rarely see you. I don't know much about you. You are an enigma, yet you continue to draw me like a predator to the scent of sweet meat.
Can I be any more obvious than what I've already stated here? Are you so oblivious to the fact that it's YOU I'm talking about?
Haiz...You're still confused. I understand. It's ok.
But then you have to remember...
I know you're reading this. I know you suspected me of liking you. And I was just playing around.
Your suspicions are correct! I DO LIKE YOU!
I AM MAD OVER YOU!
See that smirk on your face? You're happy you figured it out.
Yes I know.
The usual 'I-knew-it'
Now let me ask you something.
If I'm sitting right there and I'm laughing as usual, playing as normal, are you really going to lean over and say 'I knew it' or ask 'Do you like me?'
Cause let me ask YOU this question...
What made you think it was you?
Cause you think you're smart and beautiful and alot of guys are wanting to date you? Cause you always saw me staring at you? You always thought I was cute in some weird annoying way? You always felt that sometimes I'm a sweet guy but you just don't understand why I don't show it?
Maybe.
But what made you think it was you??
The answer: Cause you were hoping it's true...
