I am here again.
Another crossroad in my life and I cant read the signs. Im standing helpless by the side, watching these roads lead off to uncertain destinations.
Can I be anymore obvious about what I'm talking about...
Its her again. N...
I already hear the sighs and the 'Oh boy...not again'.
But before you jump into conclusions derived from the perception that you happen to be the gurus of life, put yourself into my shoes...and then you'll see.
But now its different...Its no longer like last time.
I feel pressured to make a decision...to do something I might come to hate later. And I feel its safe to stop right now while I can... To stop right on the road and get out of the car and smell the air...
I dont want to make another mistake. Its hard enough living with several from before...I don't want to make another.
And before I end up hurting the both of us, I want us to pause, and think.
Where are we going with this? Are we really going to do something we're not sure off...
Ill be honest with you...Those 3 words are too hard to say to you now...especially when its hollow...
I have tried to ask myself over the past week if this is what I want...I haven't decided...But for the moment, Im taking a break. Not from you...
Don't get me wrong...I would still like to talk to you. But from saying those 3 words to anyone but my family and my closest friends. But know that when I say it to these people. I say it with the intention of meanig that I will be there for them...Not be a part of them that I now feel pressured to do...
So I'm taking a break from the love lane... The brakes are on and my engines are quiet. The cool wind on my face. Im standing on the crossroad...But I haven't decided...
But no matter what...just know that I will always be there for you...
As a friend...
Smile Always...I love that about you...
N
